Within the last few days my life has been turned upside down by one text message.
"Sorry for bringing it up now but I feel like I've lost the only person I have actually loved and that you wouldn't want to try again. It's understandable why, but it kills me that I messed things up. I'm sorry for spoiling things between us."
It was from my ex boyfriend Andrew, the text most girls dream of getting from the man they love. My reply? Well, I haven't really gotten that far yet. I got the text this morning and after a girls luncheon with Ariel and Cheryl I still don't know what to do.
Andrew and I have always been good together. We get eachother physically, sexually, and intelluctually we check all the boxes for eachother. The problem is we've now broken up twice after 2 years together and I've got to say it's been incredibly painful both times. Our first go round I was going to school at UT and he was going to Austin Community College dating this girl I thought he was too good looking for. We met one night at a bar after being introduced by some mutual friends. After talking the whole evening we discovered we had both gone to high school in McKinney a Dallas suburb more than 200 miles North. What were the odds?
Maybe it was meant to be, maybe he really is my soulmate. He's fine with my views on never getting married or having children. I fell hard for the guy and he fell just as hard for me. I think the other thing that makes my decision of what to say so hard is the fact that we had sex about two weeks ago. As good as it was, I instantly regretted it. Within a few days, come to find out he's dating this girl he had been friends with when we were together and even though he claimed the relationship was basically over by the time we hooked up, I still felt dumb for giving in to temptation.
Ariel and Cheryl both think that I should reach back out to him and play things by ear, but they may not be the best people to ask about relationship advice. Ariel is living with her boyfriend who she is supporting while he goes out and gets himself in trouble constantly. She's about to be evicted from her apartment because of this guy and it's also affecting her job, a lot of our fellow bartenders have been pleading for her to be demoted because she winds up missing half of her shifts to babysit her boyfriend. Cheryl on the other hand has gotten back with her ex boyfriend, Ashley a grand total of 3 times now and every single time she has caught him cheating on her with another girl, not really the best person to take ex advice from.
I've been weighing the pros and cons all day, but I think the biggest thing that's getting to me is the fact that I've been talking to 3 or 4 guys not seriously, just flirty text messages and hanging out at a local bar. After I got Andrew's text I couldn't bring myself to text any of them back and they all texted me today. Even though we're not together, it still feels like I'm cheating on him. I haven't decided if this is a good or bad thing yet. Guess we'll find out soon enough.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Beginning
What is it about men? What is the magic spell they hold over us as women? Half the time the attention they give is just in hopes of being able to get into your pants by the end of the day. Then there's the exact opposite, the guys who are afraid of women. If I'm gong to bed with a guy I don't want to be the one putting on the moves, it tends to feel a bit degrading and makes a girl feel like she's not sexy enough for you to make the moves on your own, trust me I know.
I think most women are looking for a happy medium. The guy who is sweet, down to Earth, and honest that will give you the best bang of your life. However, this guy is incredibley rare, like a white tiger hiding in the snowy mountains avoiding female contact at all costs.
I would say my ex boyfriend, Andrew is probably the closest thing to this elusive white tiger that I have found. He was sweet, caring, and for the most part honest, a huge step up from the verbally and sometimes physically abusive drug dealers and jailbirds I dated up until that point. To be honest, I'm not sure why it didn't work out exactly, but it didn't and it's time to move on from that.
Right now, I'm focusing more on myself, Blake, more than anything else. I live alone in what I'd call a cute, quaint one bed room apartment with my two dogs AKA my sons, Dexter and Vinny. These pound puppy mix breeds bring so much joy to my life everyday I can't imagine life without them. During the little time off I have from working as a waitress/bartender I try to give back to homeless pets by voluteering with Austin Pet's Alive writing stories and working different events for them. It's something I really love and enjoy.
Through thick and thin this city has provided me a variety of good friends from different backgrounds, some are part of the Austin foodie movement, others I met during the 2 years I spent at the University of Texas, still others I met from parties, concerts, and other general get togethers around town.
Ariel and I both began working together at Uchiko when it opened several years previously. We both started as servers, worked our way up to bartender, and became best friends somewhere in between. At the moment she is dating a loser named Taylor, since moving in together she has started paying all his bills and basically acting more like his mother than his girlfriend. I can't stand him, but unfortunately I don't decide who she dates.
Jamie is my best gay friend. She's the executive chef at a local seafood restaurant. She's been trying to convince me for years to start working there, but I value our friendship too much for me to work with her. As much as I love the girl, I do think I would kill her if I had to work with her the 60-70 hour work weeks I've become accustomed to. Jamie and I met because of Andrew, while he was working as the general manager of a successful gay bar she was a regular who would come out. Soon we hit it off as close friends.
Cheryl is my closest slut friend. Ok, maybe slut is a bit harsh. She is beautiful. We went to school together at UT and were roommates for a year. We've always been incredibly close except for a short period of time where we hated eachother due to living together. Since I moved out and got my own place things are back to normal and I can trust Cheryl with anything again.
I love this city. The antics we go through on a daily basis keep my life interesting and are the reason for me starting this blog. I hope to be able to share some of these stories with others and show what an amazing city I get to call home.
I think most women are looking for a happy medium. The guy who is sweet, down to Earth, and honest that will give you the best bang of your life. However, this guy is incredibley rare, like a white tiger hiding in the snowy mountains avoiding female contact at all costs.
I would say my ex boyfriend, Andrew is probably the closest thing to this elusive white tiger that I have found. He was sweet, caring, and for the most part honest, a huge step up from the verbally and sometimes physically abusive drug dealers and jailbirds I dated up until that point. To be honest, I'm not sure why it didn't work out exactly, but it didn't and it's time to move on from that.
Right now, I'm focusing more on myself, Blake, more than anything else. I live alone in what I'd call a cute, quaint one bed room apartment with my two dogs AKA my sons, Dexter and Vinny. These pound puppy mix breeds bring so much joy to my life everyday I can't imagine life without them. During the little time off I have from working as a waitress/bartender I try to give back to homeless pets by voluteering with Austin Pet's Alive writing stories and working different events for them. It's something I really love and enjoy.
Through thick and thin this city has provided me a variety of good friends from different backgrounds, some are part of the Austin foodie movement, others I met during the 2 years I spent at the University of Texas, still others I met from parties, concerts, and other general get togethers around town.
Ariel and I both began working together at Uchiko when it opened several years previously. We both started as servers, worked our way up to bartender, and became best friends somewhere in between. At the moment she is dating a loser named Taylor, since moving in together she has started paying all his bills and basically acting more like his mother than his girlfriend. I can't stand him, but unfortunately I don't decide who she dates.
Jamie is my best gay friend. She's the executive chef at a local seafood restaurant. She's been trying to convince me for years to start working there, but I value our friendship too much for me to work with her. As much as I love the girl, I do think I would kill her if I had to work with her the 60-70 hour work weeks I've become accustomed to. Jamie and I met because of Andrew, while he was working as the general manager of a successful gay bar she was a regular who would come out. Soon we hit it off as close friends.
Cheryl is my closest slut friend. Ok, maybe slut is a bit harsh. She is beautiful. We went to school together at UT and were roommates for a year. We've always been incredibly close except for a short period of time where we hated eachother due to living together. Since I moved out and got my own place things are back to normal and I can trust Cheryl with anything again.
I love this city. The antics we go through on a daily basis keep my life interesting and are the reason for me starting this blog. I hope to be able to share some of these stories with others and show what an amazing city I get to call home.
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